Article Details

Challenging total failure and success

What you will get: Challenges to the concepts of success and failure.


“I’m a total failure”


These are the words, drifting through Peter’s mind, having just found out he has lost her job.


But you can never be a total failure.
It is not possible.
It does not exist.


Yet sadly…


Low self-worth, and the beliefs attached to it trigger bad feelings. And these negative feelings distort the way we see the world.


When we have strong feelings, everything is black or white.
Bad or good.
Total failure or total success.


So the first step in overcoming the fear of failure or fear of success (that stops you taking risks) it to realise that ALL success and all failure is partial.


I’ll say that again…


All success and failure is partial.


So it may be that Peter lost his job.


But was he a total failure?
Hell no!


In year 1 he built up a brand new, successful department from scratch.


In year 2 he introduced a new leadership model that is still being praised by the majority of the people who use it each day.


And there are many more success stories Peter.


Likewise, he was never a complete success.
Like I said, just like total failure, it doesn’t exist.


His new department had and still has a number of daily operational challenges.


Not everyone likes his leadership model.


So as soon as you realise…


You can never totally succeed or totally fail in life, there is less to be afraid of.


Think about it…


Is the guy who completes just 2 of the 3 years of his Spanish degree a total failure for dropping out? Of course not – he now speaks fluent Spanish and has a great summer job working in Spain.


Is the woman who has had 2 divorces a total marriage failure? Absolutely not! Much of the time in both marriages she was happy and had many positive, memorable moments. And she learned a lot.


So instead of going through life fearing failure or fearing success, why not embrace the partiality of every new thing you try.


Why not be realistic that some things you try out will go really well, some will go ok and some will go not so well. But nothing is ever total.


I’m off to celebrate my latest partial success and embrace my last partial failure.


How about you?


To your success







Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”


Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High-Performance Leadership

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