Comparanoia
What you will get: Reflections on comparing yourself to others.
Don’t be “comparanoid!”
That horrible affliction, where you over-compare yourself to others.
First off…
Let’s get one thing straight – comparing yourself to others is normal.
Indeed, social scientist Leon Festinger recently developed the theory of social comparisons, stating that there is a natural drive within people to evaluate their own looks, wealth and qualities by comparing them to others.
How else are you expected to know if you are…
…tall?
…short?
…thin?
…overweight?
…rich?
…poor?
…educated?
…a good tennis player?
…a good leader?
So some level of comparison with others is normal, and not necessarily a problem.
But beware!
Over-comparison with others can take over your life. And if it’s connected to low self-esteem, the comparisons made are not fair.
So someone with low self-esteem often compares him or herself to others who “seem” better.
“I wish I had his looks.”
“How come I never get the breaks that she does?”
“I’ll never be able to afford a hand bag like that.”
“It’s alright for some, jetting off all over the world.”
“Comparanoia”
…is the term I use to describe a condition where the outcome of the comparison always comes to the same conclusion…
“I am not good enough.”
And this type of chronic comparing leaves you constantly feeling that you lack something that others have.
And what’s more…
It’s a one-way ticket to misery!
And it’s easy to do right?
You can always find someone happier, wealthier, thinner, more relaxed, fitter or sexier that yourself.
So it’s easy to make yourself feel inadequate if you want to.
And gone are the days where people only compared themselves to others in their social circles.
You have the internet – so within seconds you can compare yourself to practically anyone on the planet if you want to.
Here’s my informed advice as a psychologist on over-comparing yourself to others.
DON’T DO IT!
It drains your energy, your time and your well-being.
And it’s totally illogical.
For example, how the hell do you compare beauty? First of all, as the famous saying states, isn’t “beauty in the eye of the beholder?” And secondly, it’s a complex concept involving both outer and inner radiance.
And anyhow…
So what if you are different to the masses?
Who ever got anywhere in life by just fitting in and being like the rest?
Dare to be different.
Celebrate your individuality.
Champion your uniqueness.
And just think…
…of all the extra energy and time you will have when you free your mind from comparing yourself to others.
Suddenly the chains of mediocrity are off and you are totally free to express, explore and be the best you can be. In the only way that makes sense.
Your way!
I’m off to be myself and forget about comparing myself to others.
How about you?
To your success
Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”
P.S. Great news, my brand new True Success online webinar programme will give you all the tools and guidance you need to make 2016 your most successful year ever. Details to follow soon…
Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High-Performance Leadership
