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What’s it about?:The pursuit of happiness

The pursuit of happiness…


A much debated and HUGE topic.


And so many different ideas and people offering you their solution. (Which usually means buying their product)


So how do you find true happiness in life?


My answer – as an experienced psychologist who has worked with more than 20,000 clients so far?


I haven’t got a clue!


You see…


First off there is no definitive answer to this question.
Happiness is a highly subjective thing.


So what brings happiness to your life may not do the same for others.


But there’s an even bigger question to consider here?


Should you live your life in pursuit of happiness at all?


The problem is…


To be chasing happiness implies that you don’t already have it.
And to set the bar of true happiness really high suggests you still have some distance to go before you get there.


In other words, there’s a gap between where you are and where you want to be.


And that gap creates a tension.
Possibly even a feeling of failure.
A sense of unmet expectations.


And this can lead you to feeling unhappy!


Don’t get me wrong…


Humans seem to thrive on setting goals, making plans and achieving something that feels meaningful.


But rather than continually chasing this elusive thing called happiness, maybe it makes more sense to embrace the joyous moments each day brings.


And what’s more…


Embrace the negative emotions too.


If you set your expectation so high that you expect to be happy all of the time – what will happen?


Well, unless you are some kind of superhuman, your expectations won’t get met.


Which may lead…


To feelings of sadness, loss or disappointment.


So rather than pursuing happiness, would it make more sense for you to pursue realistic mixed emotions of joy, sadness, elation, fun, irritation and all the other wealth of emotions life will bring you?


And in this more realistic and honest pursuit, could it be that you discover more happiness?


I’m off to pursue a realistic life of mixed emotions and embrace the good and the more challenging stuff.


How about you?


To your fulfilment.





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Steve Neale
“Creator of the Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership”


Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership.

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