Article Details

Conflict from 3 Dimensions

What you will get: A 3 dimensional view of conflict


“Kill or be killed?”


Attack or run away?
Fight or flight?


Classic ineffective ways of dealing with conflict.


But it doesn’t have to be this way.


You see…


There is a middle ground.


A place of mutual respect for yourself and the other person.
A win-win place.
A place where conflicts are resolved in the best way possible.


But first…


You need to know how to access this place.


And a vital step in effective conflict resolution is to realize that all conflicts can be viewed from 3 dimensions.


Most people know their own dimension
It’s how they feel. It’s how they behave. It’s how they think.


But this is only 1 perspective.


Perspective number 2 is also important.


It means stepping into the other person’s shoes.


Stop for a moment…


And try to think of a recent conflict you were involved in.


Now imagine that you are the other person…


What are they feeling?
What are they thinking?
What is their body language like?
What are their expectations of you?
How are you meeting their expectations?
How are you not meeting their expectations?
What is important to them in this conflict?
In what ways is your behaviour impacting on them?


Looks different from the other side, doesn’t it?


Now, how about the most important dimension of all…


The 3rd dimension.


The neutral observers perspective.


Think about that same conflict again, but this time from a neutral observer’s position.


What do you notice about your own behaviour and attitude?
What is your body language saying?
What do you notice about the other person’s behaviour?
What is their body language saying?
What is working in your communication?
What is not working?


And now, having viewed the conflict from 3 perspectives, what have you learned?


Funny, isn’t it, how stepping out of yourself can reveal new insights.


You see…


Conflict is rarely a problem.
It’s the way it is dealt with that causes the problem.


And you will never see this until you open your mind to the 3 conflict dimensions.


I’m off to see a recent disagreement I had from 3 different perspectives.


How about you?


To your success







Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”


P.S. Watch this space on some very exciting news coming soon!


Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership

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