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Reflections on a coaching style of communication

Talk less, listen more and ask more.


That’s my advice for today’s Monday Motivation.


OK, we’re done!


See you next week.





What’s that I hear you say – you’d like a little more explanation?


Ok, here we go.


Well first off…


There’s some wise words from the Dalai Lama I’d like to share with you:


“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”


Makes sense, right? It’s mainly when you’re listening, asking and observing that you’re learning new things.


And then of course, there’s problem solving.


You see…


I have met many self-proclaimed problem-solvers. People who believe they have a lot of answers and are good at telling other people what to do.


You know who I’m talking about, right?


Those people who start sentences with “Here’s what you need to do….”, even when you haven’t asked them for advice!


But sadly…


I’ve met a lot less coaches in my time.


And what do I mean by a coach?


Someone who is a great listener.
Someone who genuinely wants to understand you.
Someone who asks you great questions that help you to see things from a different perspective.


And yet…


There are so many everyday situations where a coaching style of communication would benefit you and the person you’re with.


The friend who just wants a friendly ear and understanding.


The colleague at work who is seeking clarity.


The family member who is looking for empathy.


In fact, becoming a great coach of others is an amazing talent to nurture and develop.


But it’s not easy.


Your own ideas try to jump in.
Your own judgment is always waiting to step in.
Your own beliefs are filtering what you hear, so you only notice some of the information that you are being told.


So, back to my original advice…
Go practice being a great coach to others.


And how do you do that?


Talk less, listen more and ask more.


You might just find you learn more and build stronger relationship (people just LOVE to be really listened to).


I’m off to nurture my coaching skills and talk less.


How about you?


To your happiness and fulfillment.



Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”


Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership

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