Category: Articles

What you will get: A deeper understanding of self motivation

 

“What’s the secret to finding true motivation?”

 

Where do you find it?
And who is responsible for it?

 

What am I talking about?

 

MOTIVATION.

 

You see…

 

Too many people go through life expecting to be “motivated” by others.
But that’s not where you will find true motivation.

 

You will find it inside you.

 

And what’s more…

 

It has many layers.

 

For example, take Dave the writer.
He always said he wanted to write a book.

 

Why?

 

Well he claimed it was because of his love of writing.
But when it came down to it, Dave loved the thought of being a writer and the attention and praise it would bring him more than actually writing.

 

That’s why Dave never made it as a successful writer.

 

So the first thing you need to be clear on is what is your real motivation for doing something. Dig deep through the layers of motivation until you get to the true motivation.

 

And then of course…

 

There’s Maslow’s unknown layer of motivation.

 

Most people are familiar with Maslow’s motivation model – so we all have a need for good health, safety, love and self esteem – which allow us to reach the magical self-actualisation level.

 

But many don’t know that Maslow added another level to his famous model.

 

Level 6 of his model states that true motivation must be linked to PURPOSE and GIVING.

 

So to really tap into your inner motivation, the task you are doing needs to have a clear purpose that benefits others.

 

It’s worth thinking about…

 

What are the tasks that motivate you most?
And are they the ones that give meaning and purpose to you and others?

 

Maybe it’s time for you to find your true motivation?

 

Now that’s a motivating thought!

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership

What you will get: Clarity on the importance of thinking BIG and clear

 

“What’s in your perfect recipe for success?”

 

Too many people eat it!
And what’s more they eat it every day for around 40 years.

 

What am I talking about?

 

The Painful Pancake.

 

And what are the ingredients of this painful pancake?

 

A job with no passion
Pressure of finance
Lack of sparkle in relationships
Friends you no longer connect with
Energy vampires sucking you life blood
Too busy working to change things
Too busy working to make serious money
Too busy working to make more time
Stress affecting your health and vitality
Running out of time
Thinking you are trapped
Irritating work colleagues
Ungrateful people
Feeling tired meeting the expectations of others

 

So that’s how you make a painful pancake!

 

In fact…

 

It’s the perfect Recipe for Disaster.

 

So how do you make something much nicer to eat? How do you create your Recipe for Success?

 

Well first you have to think big, and allow yourself to imagine your BIG DREAM.

 

What do you really burn for in life?
What make’s your heart sing?
What are you doing when you experience the strongest feelings of joy and happiness?

 

Creating this clear, Destination Postcard, will give you CLARITY on where you are going.

 

And clarity is essential in any change process.
Why?
Because, as I once heard Peter Thomson say,

 

“Resistance is created through lack of clarity”

 

So you see…

 

Knowing you are not quite happy with some parts of your life is not enough to change it.

 

You need to be crystal clear on where you want to go, and WHY you want to go there.

 

So, if you haven’t already, I urge you to take time out and think BIG and CLEAR for 2015.

 

Create that Destination Postcard that is right for you.

 

That’s the first step in creating your perfect Recipe for Success

 

And remember…

 

As you start to work towards that Dream Destination…

 

You are always the Head Chef – so you decide what goes in the Recipe
Only add the BEST ingredients to your Recipe
Make sure your finished recipe produces some really delicious food you can share with others.

 

See you next week where I’ll be looking at the next step in your Recipe for Success in 2015.

 

Can you taste it yet?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership

What you will get: A comparison of leading a mindful or a mindless life

 

“Do you choose to me mindful or mindless?

 

So where do you find real life quality?

 

Is it in worrying about the past?
I doubt it!

 

Is it to be found in concerning yourself with things you haven’t done yet?
Certainly not!

 

How about wishing you were doing something else?
Nope!

 

You see…

 

True life quality comes from the moment you are in, right now.

 

It may be the sweet smell of a scented candle.

 

The joy you get when noticing the beautiful colour and textures of a red rose.

 

Maybe the intense, strong flavour you experience when sipping your favourite coffee.

 

But here’s the problem.

 

Many people go through life not noticing these special moments, because they choose to focus on the past or the future.

 

I call this mindless living.

 

Here’s some typical traits of mindless living:

 

Be perfect
Always do better
Always work harder
Just deal with things and ignore them
Don’t show emotion
Get a quick fix to problems
Faster, faster, faster
More, more, more

 

Now, as Dr Jonty Heaversedge writes about in his great book, the Mindful Manifesto, there is an alternative to this.

 

It’s called mindful living.

 

And what’s typical of mindful living?

 

Self compassion
Learning “to be” and not just “to do”
Becoming a curious, friendly observer of yourself and others
Connecting with your senses in the moment
Spending more time in the “now” – noticing those precious moments that life gives you every day
More quality of experience, less quantity
Slower, slower, slower
Less, less, less

 

So as you go through your day today, ask yourself what you can be more mindful of?

 

Is it the pure joy you experience when listening to your favourite song on the radio?

 

Is it the amazing taste of the food your partner lovingly cooked for you?

 

Is it noticing the glint in your daughter’s eye as she is delighted to see you arrive home from work?

 

You see…

 

Every day is full of these special moments…if only you allow yourself to notice them

 

Are you ready for a more mindful life?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership

What you will get: A change to reflect on the connection between awareness, pressure, stress and performance

 

“So Where’s Your PPP (Personal Pressure Point)? ”

 

Human beings need pressure.

 

Without pressure we get bored.
Without pressure we lose motivation.
Without pressure we are not pushed to learn and experience new things.

 

But be warned – too much pressure is dangerous.

 

You see…

 

We all have a Personal Pressure Point (PPP).
And when we reach this point and pressure continues to build, we start to see negative consequences.

 

We start to get irritable.
We start to lose concentration.
We start to forget things.
We make promises we can’t keep.
We lose patience.
We have trouble “switching off “ from work
Our sleep suffers.
We get digestive problems.
Headaches and back pains start to appear.
Our decisions become more black and white.
We start to lose creativity.
Motivation drops.
Energy drops.
The list continues…

 

And here’s the tricky party…

 

All have us have a very different PPP.
It depends on your personality, your culture, your values, your emotional intelligence, your emotional resilience, your fear of change, your levels of flexibility, your sense of perspective and much more.

 

So what can we do about this?

 

Well the first step for is to develop self worth.

 

Without self worth, even when you realise you are suffering from stress (or too much pressure), you may do nothing. At a deeper, subconscious level you may feel “I am not worth it”

 

So ask yourself, “how much do I truly, like, value and accept myself?”

 

Then you need a high level of self awareness.

 

An awareness of how you are feeling psychologically and physically. If you don’t develop this, you will miss the warning signs our body and brain send you, telling you that you have gone past your PPP and are creeping into the danger zone.

 

For example…

 

Have you ever been typing so hard and so focused on an urgent task, then you finally finish and realise your back or fingers are aching?

 

You probably had low self awareness during the task – your back has been aching for a while!

 

OK, so you develop your sense of self worth.

 

You develop your self awareness, becoming more conscious of how you are feeling more of the time.

 

Now and only now are you ready to become a master of your own work life balance and stress management.

 

Now you can take action, and change things, when you start to go past your own PPP.

 

And remember – you ALWAYS have a choice to change things, even if it may seem that you don’t

 

And what’s this got to do with leading teams?

 

Well first of all, there’s awareness.

 

You see…

 

If you are going to become more aware of others, first you have to become more aware if yourself.

 

Why?

 

Because when assessing how others feel, we use ourselves as the diagnostic tool. So unless you are familiar with the signs of stress in yourself, it is highly unlikely you will be able to read those signs well in others.

 

And then of course there is Gandhi.

 

What was it he said?

 

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world”

 

So there’s no point in in telling your team to manage their work/life balance, energy and stress if you don’t do that yourself.

 

It’s like telling someone they are a coward for not taking a parachute jump, even though you are too scared to do it yourself.

 

So now it’s over to you. You are the only person in this world that can become a master of your PPP and keep yourself in the optimal performance zone.

 

Are you ready for peak performance?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership

What you will get: A chance to re-learn some of the things you did naturally as a child

 

“When do you let your inner child free?”

 

It came to me after my second glass of wine.

 

Such a good feeling. I had just finished 2 days of emotional intelligence training with 30 warm-hearted Lithuanian social workers, and was sat enjoying a good steak and wine.

 

And then it hit me!

 

So much of what I teach to business leaders are things that children do naturally.

 

Until we as adults teach them not to!

 

So why not interview some school children on the wisdom of leadership?

 

The result?

 

3 months later, with the help of my close friend and colleague, Irma Liubertiene, I published the book “Leadership Through the Eyes of a Child”

 

A book packed full of simple wisdom from the minds and hearts of Lithuanian school children.

 

Here are just 3 of the lessons you and I can re-learn from children (I say “re-learn” because they were very natural to all of us at one time)

 

1. Play more and have more fun

 

Have you ever noticed how kids love to play?

 

And then play some more…
And then some more!

 

Are they just immature and foolish?

 

Absolutely not!

 

You see…

 

When you play and then play some more, you lose yourself in the act of playing, and you enter a state called the “flow” state.

 

The flow state is when you lose yourself in the moment of intense concentration and fun.

 

And being in the flow state has so many benefits…

• The part of your brain responsible for self criticism and worrying about unnecessary things shuts down
• You reach your highest level of achievement, concentration and performance when you are in the flow state
• Your creativity increases dramatically and you will start to experience lots of new ideas

 

2. Kids want to understand things

“Why is the moon round?”
“Why is the sky blue?”
“Why do I have to eat vegetables?”

 

Kids ask “Why?” questions a lot.

 

Why?

 

Because they want to understand the meaning and purpose behind things.

 

And isn’t that a really healthy thing to do?

 

Unfortunately, many adults stop asking “Why” and just accept things as they are.

 

They stop asking vital questions like…

 

Why do I do the job I do?
Why am I so tired all the time?
Why have I given up on my dreams?

 

3. Smiling and laughing

 

A recent study showed that children laugh or smile on average 300 times a day.

 

How many times does the average, busy, business person smile or laugh each day?

 

Around 15 times!

 

So who is wisest here, kids or business people?

 

You see…

 

Each time you smile or laugh you release “happy hormones” like serotonin and dopamine.

 

So you feel happier, more focused and more energized.

 

So is it time for you to re-connect with your inner child?

 

I’m off to go and play and laugh until my stomach hurts. How about you?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: Clarity on the importance of being optimistically realistic

 

“How much do you bounce?”

 

I love Tigger!

 

Why?

 

Well many reasons, but not least because…

 

…he is an eternal optimist.
…anything is possible in his world.
…life is just one big bounce in his eyes!

 

But not everyone sees the world the way Tigger does.

 

You see…

 

Pessimism is like a disease.
It spreads. It provides social spin. It is the language of the media.

 

Here’s an example of what I mean.

 

We recently had one of the best summer’s for a long time in Cornwall, South West England, where I live.

 

In fact September broke lots of records. No rain. Sun every day. Warmest September for over 50 years.

 

And, as I’m sure you know…

 

The British love to talk about the weather.

 

But what struck me during the middle of this wonderful Indian summer is how most people focused on the negative side of the glorious September sun.

 

Comments like…

 

“This can’t last”
“It’s too good to be true”
“We are gonna pay for this in the winter”

 

Now I checked the science here – and there is absolutely no clear evidence that a hot September increases the chances of a really bad winter.

 

So this is just pure pessimism – why focus on the glory of a hot sunny September day when you can focus the negative side of life, eh!

 

I just don’t get it.

 

And here’s the problem…

 

Every time you think a negative thought or utter a negative statement, it fires your negativity nerve pathways in your brain. And as the famous neuroscientist Hebb proclaimed:

 

“Neurones that fire together, wire together”

 

So the more you focus on the pessimistic side of life, the more your brain becomes hard wired to do that more and more.

 

That’s why I love Tigger.

 

Can Tiggers bounce? Sure they can!
Can Tiggers swim? You bet!
Can Tiggers climb trees? Tiggers were born to climb trees!

 

And from my experience, this optimistic focus on life will serve you much better than always seeing the negative side of things.

 

In fact, it will hardwire your brain for opportunity and happiness!

 

Just one note of caution – extreme optimism all the time can mean you lose touch with reality. So I find a balance between optimism and realism is a good place to be.

 

And I think Tigger would agree.

 

In one of A.A.Milne’s famous Winnie-the-Pooh adventures, Tigger decides to prove to all his friends that Tiggers can climb trees.

 

And of course he can – he bounces straight up the tree.

 

Only to find…

 

He can’t get down.

 

Nevertheless, a life of bouncing has to be better than a life of complaining, right?

 

So, where will your bouncing take you today?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: A reflection on the importance of beliefs

 

“So, what do you believe?”

 

A stranger walked into a new town.

 

And as he entered the town, he saw an old man sitting on a rocking chair.

 

“He seems like a local,” thought the stranger to himself. “I think I’ll ask him a question.”

 

“Good afternoon, sir,” stated the stranger. “Could you please tell me what the people are like in this town?”

 

“Well now,” reflected the old man. “That all depends. What are the people like in the town you come from?”

 

“They are negative, selfish and arrogant,” replied the stranger.

 

“Now that is strange,” said the old man. “You will find the people in this town to be just the same.”

 

Now later the same day…

 

A different stranger walked past the old man. Again he was curious about the people of the town.

 

“Tell me, what are the people like in this town?”

 

“Well now,” reflected the old man for the second time that day. “That all depends. What are the people like in the town you come from?”

 

“ They are kind, positive and generous, “ replied the second stranger.

 

“Now that is strange,” said the old man. “You will find the people in this town to be just the same.”

 

So what is this story all about?

 

Beliefs

 

You beliefs determine how you see the world.
Your beliefs determine how you experience each day.
Your beliefs are directly related to your happiness and success in life.

 

It’s like this…

 

If you choose to believe the world is a negative place full of bad people, guess what? That is what you will see.

 

And if you choose to believe the world is a positive place full of good people and endless opportunities, guess what? That is what you will see.

 

You see…

 

Our beliefs act as filters to the world we see around us.

 

Each day we are given way too much information for the logical part of our brain to notice, process and focus on.

 

So our beliefs, which live in our limbic system (subconscious brain), filter what information we “notice”.

 

So if we have bad beliefs about the world and people, we tend to see bad things and bad people.

 

And if we have good beliefs about the world and people, we tend to see good things and people!

 

I know which type of world I have chosen to create with my beliefs – how about you?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: A comparison of groups and teams

 

“Have you earned the ‘TEAM’ title?”

 

It is easy for a group of people to call themselves a “team” – but that does not mean they are a team!

 

You see…

 

As far as I see it, you have to earn the title of “team.”

 

For example, I have encountered many senior management teams over the years who actually behave like a group of people, not a team of people.

 

So what’s the difference?

 

Well, here is a list of comparisons on how I see a GROUP compared to a real TEAM.

 

As I go through the list, it may be useful for you to reflect on the team or teams you are in, and decide for yourself if it is a real team.

 

• In a group, members feel they have been put together for administrative purposes only. In a team, there is a true sense of interdependence. In other words a 1 + 1 = 4 mentality.

 

• Group members tend to work and think independently for personal gain. In a team, there is little time for personal gain – it is all about working together.

 

• In a group, members do not feel committed to a common goal. Teams have common, agreed goals, clear values and clarity of purpose. And all members work towards those agreed goals.

 

• In a group, there is little sense of loyalty. So if members disagree with a group decision, they often go outside the group and criticise it. Team members stay loyal to agreed team decisions, even if they disagree personally.

 

• In a group there is little sense of ownership – members are just told what to do. Teams involve people in decision making, create shared ownership and welcome new ideas.

 

• In a group, trust levels are often low. Members are cautious about what they say and play political games. Teams create a climate of trust and openness – and listening to people’s ideas and concerns is welcomed.

 

• In a group conflict is often avoided as it is seen as a win-lose (“What’s the point, he always does what he wants anyway!”). Teams recognise conflict as a normal thing amongst humans, and always openly embrace it as an opportunity for a win-win.

 

Of course, I could continue, but I guess you get the idea?

 

So the title of “team” is not something to take lightly.

 

It is a title that needs to be earned by creating common values, beliefs and goals. And it needs to be worked on each day by creating and reinforcing acceptable team behaviour codes.

 

Then, and only then, can you call yourselves a team.

 

So, are you currently in a team or a group?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: An understanding of inside-out living

 

“Turn Your Life Upside Down!”

 

Most people live their lives the wrong way round!

 

They live from the outside in.
True happiness and success comes from living inside out.

 

What do I mean?

 

Well, in one of the most famous TED talks ever made , Simon Sinek explains the golden circle of 3 vital questions:

 

Why?
How?
What?

 

So let me explain the way most people live their lives, outside in.

 

If you ask them WHAT they do each day, they can tell you.

 

Their routines.
Their daily behaviours
Their KPIs

 

But then if you ask them HOW they do it, they often don’t know.

 

And by “how” I don’t mean process. I mean which values and uniqueness they bring to their daily tasks.

 

There are many ways to get from A to B, right?

 

So do you do it with integrity, openness and fun? Or is your way about fear, manipulation and control?

 

And then to the BIG question – the WHY question.

 

WHY do you do it?
And by that I mean what purpose does it serve? What difference does it make to you and others?

 

Sadly, most people don’t know the answer to this question.
A job is just a job, right?

 

Exceptional leaders of themselves and others do things the other way round.

 

They start by asking the WHY question – gaining clarity on the purpose of doing things.

 

Then they answer the HOW question – gaining clarity on their values and unique talent.

 

Then, and only then, do they figure out WHAT they will do to live their purpose and values.

 

And here’s the best part…

 

When you ask the WHAT question, you engage the logical part of your brain.

 

When you ask the HOW and WHY questions, you engage your limbic system. Your limbic system is the subconscious part of your brain responsible for feelings, motivation, beliefs and driving behaviour.

 

So the WHY question drives behaviour, the WHAT question doesn’t.

 

Which is exactly why logic rarely persuades people to do something, emotions do.

 

If you want your team to follow you on a new initiative, make sure you answer their WHY and HOW questions first, before you tell them WHAT you will do.

 

If you don’t, there will be no clear purpose.

 

And with no clear purpose, they will always ask, “What’s the point?”

 

So, is it time to start leading your life upside down?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: A comparison of being vs doing

 

“Do you live up to your job title?”

 

Please correct me if I am wrong, but I believe you are a human being?

 

Am I correct?

 

OK, so my next question is do you live up to your job title?

 

You see…

 

We are all called human BEings, and we are not called human DOings.

 

Yet most people spend most or all of the time doing things and not just being.

 

Why?

 

They don’t know how.
They forgot how.
They can’t find a way off the busy hamster wheel.

 

So what do I mean by being?

 

Well it could be lots of things, such as…

 

Having nothing on the agenda.
Meditating.
A peaceful walk in nature being mindful of the sights and smells.
Relaxing without social media and your smart phone
Allowing yourself not to be busy.
Really stopping to notice the wonderful taste of your freshly made coffee.
Giving yourself permission just to have fun and relishing every moment of it.
Laughing until your stomach hurts.

 

You get the idea.

 

You see…

 

If we don’t re-learn to BE more and DO less, we begin to suffer.

 

Our health suffers.
Our energy suffers.
Our motivation suffers.
Our relationships suffer.

 

(I say re-learn because as children we all know how to BE and lose ourselves in the moment, right?)

 

And talking of mindfulness (being present in the moment)…

 

Are you aware in some cultures they have no future or past tense in their language?

 

That’s right, they can only talk about the present because there is only the present!

 

As the famous author and psychologist Robert Holden explained it in a talk I saw him at a few years ago, without more BEing, the typical life story of a busy business person in the developed world looks a little like this…

 

“Born….childhood….school….busy….busy….busy….college…busy….busy….work….busy…busy….busy….busy….friends….busy….
busy….busy….busy….family….busy….busy….busy….
busy….busy….busy….holiday….busy….busy….busy….
busy….busy….retirement….DEAD! “

 

Kind of funny and tragic at the same time, don’t you think?

 

Here’s some questions to think about…

 

Did you make a “to do” list today? Are you good at making ”to do” lists to prioritise and organise your busy time?

 

How about a “to be” list?

 

When was the last time you asked yourself how am I going “to be” today?

 

When was the last time you deliberately left a space in your diary that you called “to be” time?

 

When was the last time you were really mindful of the many beautiful things each day brings you, if you allow yourself to notice them?

 

I’m off to BE now, how about you?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!