Category: Articles

What you will get: Clarity on the vital difference between self worth and self confidence

 

“It changed my life!”

 

As I sat and listened, I knew something changed inside of me.

 

One of those special “WOW” moments that create a paradigm shift in your beliefs that change the way you see the world.

 

Forever.

 

It was about 12 years ago, and I was sat listening to a guy called Tim Sparrow explain the difference between self worth and self confidence.

 

You see…

 

These two important concepts often get misunderstood and confused.

 

Self worth is about who you believe you are.

 

Self confidence is about what you do.

 

Now I’m going to say something you may find really odd…

 

“As long as you have high self worth, it doesn’t matter if you have low self confidence!”

 

Hang on a minute!

 

Before you decide that I have gone crazy, please let me explain.

 

Let’s say you asked me to climb a rock face today, with no training or experience. And then you asked me where my self confidence to do the task was on a scale of 1 to 10.

 

I would say 1 out of 10.

 

I have never climbed before.
I don’t know how to climb.
I have no idea how to even start!

 

So what!

 

I have low self confidence for this task. But I have high self worth (something I chose to develop over the years).

 

I am happy with my strengths.
I am happy with my faults.
I am happy with who I am.

 

And with this high self worth, I never need to prove myself at any tasks. Or to any person.

 

Sure, it would be nice to learn how to climb.
So maybe you teach me and in 6 months my confidence is at 8 out of 10.

 

So what!

 

My belief in who I am is, and always will be, more important than my confidence to perform specific tasks.

 

And that’s why is astonishes me…

 

That our education systems and workplaces focus so much on what people do and so little on who people are.

 

I’m not saying what you do is not important – but who you believe you are is MUCH more important.

 

And here’s the great news…

 

The more content you become with who you are, the more open you are to trying and learning new things.

 

What’s the worst that could happen? You don’t succeed and learn something valuable in the process!

 

And that’s why…

 

It’s only people with low self worth who need to boast and act in an arrogant and over confident way.

 

It’s as if they need to prove themselves to the world in order to feel ok about themselves.

 

But with high self worth, you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone.

 

With high self worth…

 

You are humble.
You are content.
You are more likely to have more respect and less judgment of others.

 

So isn’t it time you prioritised the amount that you value yourself?

 

It might just be the greatest gift you ever gave yourself.

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: A deeper understanding of why humans resist change

 

“We are just like Oszkar!”

 

Here is a picture of my dog, Oszkar.

 

Oszkar can teach you and I something valuable about change management.

 

Let me share that with you.

 

You see…

 

When Oszkar was a puppy, we socialised him with lots of animals. Other dogs. Horses. Cats. Sheep.

 

That way, he would get used to these “strange” creatures at an early age.

 

And he did.

 

As an 11 year old dog now, I can safely say he has gone through his life without any problems with these animals. (well maybe not cats – but he is a dog, right?)

 

But not cows!

 

About 2 years ago we moved to a different part of the UK. And most mornings on his walk, Oszkar walks past cows.

 

He barks.
And he barks.
And barks some more.

 

This is not a happy, excited, “please oh please throw me a ball” kind of bark.
It’s an unhappy, “What the hell are you, you strange black and white creature?” bark.

 

So what is the emotion underlying Oszkar’s barks at the cows?

 

FEAR.

 

Fear of something different.
Fear of something new.
Fear of something uncertain.

 

You and I are the same.

 

You see…

 

Just like Oszkar, humans also fear what they do not know.

 

Basically, every time you are presented with something, within milliseconds, your subconscious brain (limbic system) scans your memory database to decide how you should react.

 

You have 3 basic reaction positions:

 

1 – The limbic system remembers the stimulus in a positive way and you react positively (I have had ice cream before and I like it!)

 

2 – The limbic system remembers the stimulus in a negative way and you react negatively (Last time someone asked me to dance I made a fool of myself so I don’t like dancing!)

 

3 – The limbic system has no clear memories about the stimulus and you react negatively (I have no idea what these company changes will mean for me so watch out and be cautious!)

 

That’s right…

 

Just like Oszkar, when we are presented with something we do not know, we react with caution at best, rejection and negativity at worst.

 

So remember..

 

Your initial reaction to something new is just your limbic system trying to protect you.

 

It may be totally unrelated to if the new thing will be good for you.

 

And of course…

 

Don’t be surprised if when you start introducing changes to your colleagues and team they react negatively.
They are just trying to protect themselves as they go into unknown territory.

 

Just like Oszkar the first time he saw a cow!

 

Are you ready for change?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

How much money did your company burn last year?

 

100,000 EUROs?

250,000 EUROs?

Or was it more than 1,000,000 EUROs?>

 

You see…

 

Every company I have worked with has problems with performance.

 

The team that is always arguing.
The leader who dictates and creates a fear culture.
The sales person who knows it all.

 

So what do most companies do?

 

They try to fix the performance issues with training.

 

But training alone doesn’t work!

 

Why?

 

Well there are lots of reasons.

 

First of all, as I mentioned on a previous Monday Motivation, there are 4 key elements to performance.

 

Knowledge
Attitudes
Skills
and
Habits.

 

And most training only covers 2 of these – knowledge and skills.

 

But in reality…

 

It’s often poor attitudes and the habits that form from these attitudes that cause performance problems.

 

And what’s more…

 

The training content itself is directed at the logical part of the brain. But it’s the limbic system (subconscious brain) that is responsible for all lasting change in people – not the logical brain.

 

So that’s a bit like trying to teach your team to learn in Chinese when none of them speak it!

 

Then of course there’s the honeymoon effect

 

We all know it.

 

You go to the training.
You have a great time.
You come away full of good intentions.

 

And what next?

 

There are 3,000 emails in your inbox.
You go back into your familiar work environment.
Everyone wants a piece of your time as you’ve been away training for 2 days.

 

The result?

 

You don’t activate what you learned, and the training is wasted.

 

And don’t ever forget the Ebbinghaus Effect!

 

What on earth is this?

 

Well, Herman Ebbinghaus did some valuable research into memory in the late 19th Century.

 

And what did he find?

 

People’s ability to recall information decreases rapidly.
In just a few hours, more than 60% of new information you have received is forgotten!

 

And after only 1 month you have forgotten more than 90% of what you learned.

 

Like I said, your company is burning money!

 

And then…

 

What about the staff who leave?

 

You invest in an expensive leadership course for 20 leaders.
3 months later, 4 of them have left.

 

And as they walked out they door…>

 

So did your investment!

 

Fortunately, there are solutions to most of these training problems.

 

Here’s my top tips that I incorporate into all of my programmes to ensure maximum return on investment for you and your company:

 

• Direct all training content, via skilled activities, at both the subconscious and the conscious brain
• Make delegates accountable for their promised actions – build in follow up result sharing to all training
• Use 1 to 1 coaching as well as group work
• Make sure you get people to share the training input with others soon after the event. The more you share with others, the more you memorise and learn yourself
• Make sure the training is combined with a longer term continuity plan. For example, with my own training I give people access to my online leadership course, the Limbic Performance System, so delegates repeat the content, re-learn it and have follow up workshops to “activate” the content
• Don’t be fooled by trainers who tell you they can fix everything in 1 training day – they can’t. True lasting change takes focus, time, repetition, follow up and skilled support

 

So are you ready to take action and help your company to stop burning money?

 

Your success partner

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme. Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: A chance to review your current energy levels

 

“Are you managing your energy spirals?”

 

“I feel tired most of the time”
“I just don’t have the spark I had when I was younger”
“I wish I had more energy”
“I just want to collapse in front of the TV when I get home”

 

Sound familiar?

 

Who doesn’t want more energy?

 

More energy to work.
More energy to play.
More energy to do all the things you want to do.

 

Over the last decade, I have coached thousands of fellow leaders, and one of the most common things people want to improve is their energy.

 

So where do you start?

 

Well the first thing to realise is that there are different types of energy.

 

There is your…

 

Physical energy
Mental energy
Emotional energy

 

And your…

 

Spiritual energy

 

Your physical energy is about your fitness, diet, weight and general health.

 

Your mental energy is about your mindset, positivity, optimism and general outlook towards life.

 

Your emotional energy is about how your are feeling day to day and the balance of positive emotions and negative emotions you have

 

And your spiritual energy is about your connection to something bigger – perhaps God, nature, a higher purpose or the universe.

 

And what’s more, the four types of energy are all connected.

 

Picture the scene…

 

You’ve had a bad day at work and are feeling irritated and demotivated (emotional energy)

 

…so you skip your evening run (physical energy)

 

…and you sit and worry about the problems of the day (your mental energy)

 

…and totally forget to get a sense of perspective on what really matters (your spiritual energy)

 

Before you know it…

 

You are trapped in a negative energy spiral!

 

But hang on a minute!

 

You can reverse this anytime you want!

 

So you decide to focus on 3 good things that happened today (mental energy goes up)

 

…and that triggers some good feelings and you start to smile (emotional energy goes up)

 

… which means you decide to go for that run after all (improves your physical energy)

 

…and whilst jogging you notice the beautiful nature around you and get a clearer sense of perspective of what really matters (spiritual energy is up)

 

In fact, you just activated your positive energy spiral.

 

So what will you do to manage your energy spirals from now on?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: Clarity on how to stop burning cash

 

“Using KASH to save CASH”

 

Companies waste a fortune every year.

 

Why?

 

Because of an over simplistic view of training, development and performance.

 

You know the situation…

 

A member of the customer service team is not performing, failing to get the desired level of feedback from customers.

 

So what normally happens?

 

They get sent on a customer service course.
And then another one.
And then another.

 

But nothing really changes.

 

You see…

 

Until you truly integrate the KASH model into your performance criteria, you will keep wasting CASH.

 

And what does KASH stand for?

 

Knowledge
Attitudes
Skills
Habits

 

In order to be outstanding at anything you do, you need all 4 of the KASH elements to be in place…

 

You need the knowledge of how to do it.
You need to have the right attitudes (“I want to do it”, “I can do it”, “I love doing it”).
You need the skills to apply the knowledge.
And you need to have developed the right habits.

 

The problem is…

 

Most training only works with knowledge and skills.
And you and I know that attitudes and habits are often what cause performance problems.

 

So what can you do about this?

 

Make sure your trainer is competent and skilled at working with attitudes.

 

Make sure the training content works with the subconscious brain (responsible for changing attitudes and habits)

 

Engage a competent coach who can work with attitudes and habits.

 

And always, always, do a KASH analysis of the underperforming employee before you start wasting money.

 

Are you ready to use KASH to save CASH?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: A reflection on authentic leadership

 

“Will the real you please stand up!”

 

It’s really hard work to not be yourself.

 

You see…

 

Playing a role in life takes effort.

 

It drains your energy.
It feels uncomfortable.
It drains your soul.

 

Yet, over the last decade…

 

So many people have come to me and asked me to help them find their authentic self.

 

And some even say to me…

 

“But Steve, you can’t be the same at work as you are with your friends and family”

 

Why can’t you?

 

Sure you would look silly talking like you do to with your 3 year-old daughter to your management team.
But that’s not what I am talking about.

 

I am talking about being true to yourself all of the time.
I am talking about authentic leadership.
I am talking about not compromising your personal values.
I am talking about knowing your own personality preferences and being open and honest about them.
I am talking about respectfully expressing how you feel to others and why you feel that way.

 

Of course…

 

There may be good reasons why you have felt you need to play a role.

 

Maybe it’s what your parents expected of you?
Maybe you think a leader is supposed to act in a certain way?
Maybe you act in a certain way because you feel that’s what others will want to see?

 

And sure, living a life true to your values, beliefs and heart’s true desires is hard sometimes.

 

But not living a life true to your core values and beliefs will kill you.

 

You know…

 

There’s a lot of talk right now about different leadership styles.

 

Situational leadership
Directive leadership
Coaching Leadership
Motivational Leadership

 

The list goes on…

 

But none of these styles of leadership will work if you do not bring into them your true self – your authenticity.

 

And what’s more…

 

People love authenticity.

 

If you are honest, open and authentic people around you like it, and often want to follow your example.

 

And if people want to follow you – doesn’t that make you a leader?

 

Have fun being yourself!

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: Clarity on what REALLY makes humans happy.

 

“Money can’t buy you love (or happiness)”

 

If there’s one question I’ve been asked more than any, it has to be,

 

“Steve, what makes people happy?”

 

My answer?

 

I don’t know. It’s a personal, subjective thing, right?

 

But I do have some pretty good guidelines I can share with you taken from credible psychological studies.

 

You see…

 

Money doesn’t make anyone happy.

 

Sure it gives security.
Sure it gives choice.
Sure it gives status.

 

But it won’t ever make your heart sing.

 

And it won’t be what you think about on your deathbed when you reflect back on the happiest moments of your life.

 

Psychological studies agree with me.

 

And here’s the great news!

 

To start boosting how happy you feel today is free and it’s easy.

 

So here’s just 5 proven tips to rocket your happiness levels into the next galaxy…

 

1 – Grab 7 minutes of exercise per day

 

…and let those feel-good endorphins fly into your body and energise you.

 

2 – Give more authentic compliments

 

It’s true, a genuine act of giving a compliment to another person (“you look great today”, “I just love your enthusiasm”)
will boost serotonin levels in your blood and you’ll feel great.

 

3 – Dream dream dream

 

You see, sleep is our natural way of dumping any negative emotions (we dream out suppressed negative energy!).
So if you had any challenges the day before, providing you get a good night of healthy sleep and had several dream cycles, you will wake feeling fresh.

 

You have dumped your emotional baggage in the land of dreams and are free and ready for the challenges of the new day

 

4 – Smile and laugh more

 

Young kids laugh or smile around 500 times a day on average. Busy executives are lucky if they top 15 smiles a day on average.

 

Each time we smile it increases our levels of happy hormones and improves our attention and focus.

 

So who’s smartest here, kids or executives?

 

Make a conscious effort to smile and laugh more.

 

5 – Be more and do less

 

Your official title is a human being, not a human doing.

 

So why is it that so many people do, do and do more but don’t prioritise time just to “be”?

 

And what is being?

 

It could be many things…

 

A reflective, peaceful walk in nature.
Meditating and learning to switch off your busy thoughts. Time relaxing with your favourite music.

 

There are endless ways to “be”, you just need to prioritise them.

 

Here’s to the happy times ahead 

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: A reflection on people trying to hold you back in life.

 

“Boiling frogs, whining dogs and clinging crabs”

 

Have you ever tried boiling a frog?

 

You see, if you just try to throw it in boiling water, it will jump out!

 

But if you put the frog in cold water, and heat the water gradually, the poor little green thing will stay in the water until its legs are good to eat at a French fine dining restaurant!

 

Many people are the same.

 

So many people gradually let their life around them slip into boring routine, until 1 day they realise they have been unhappy for a long, long time.

 

Now let me tell you about the whining dog story…

 

One day, Up the happy dog, was minding his own business, happily leaving his scent on somebody’s front garden.

 

Suddenly he heard an awful whining sound – so awful that it made his ears prick up and his tail drop in fear.

 

He instinctively ran in the direction of the sound and soon found a very sad, unhappy looking dog called Down.

 

“What on earth is the matter?” asked Up
“I have my paw stuck on this nail,” replied Down the dog
“So why don’t you take it off the nail?” inquired Up

 

At that moment, Down paused and thought hard about Up’s question.

 

“I guess I’ve just got used to it being there,” said Down.

 

Many people are the same.

 

So even when many people realise that life sucks, they do nothing. They are unhappy in their job. They are in the wrong relationship. Their health is suffering due to stress.

 

They do nothing about it – because they’ve learned to live with it. (and may even have become addicted to suffering)

 

Now thankfully, you and I are not like the frog or Down the dog. We both realise that you can always change.

 

Change the way you think.
Change the way you feel.
Change the way you behave.

 

And that’s where the clinging crabs come in.

 

You see, I live in a small fishing village, and every summer kids (and their parents) like to catch crabs from the harbour and put them in a bucket.

 

Once there are a few crabs in the bucket, invariably one of the crabs will make a move and try and climb out.

 

What do you think the other crabs do?

 

They cling onto the escaping crab and pull it back into the bucket!

 

Many people are the same.

 

So you have decided you don’t want to be a boiling frog or a whining dog. You have wisely chosen a path of lifelong learning, because you know you can always grow, change and learn.

 

As some of the “crabs” in your life see you do this, they will try and pull you back in the bucket.

 

Telling you it won’t work.
Telling you not to do it.
Telling you that you can’t change.

 

And what should you do with these clinging crabs?

 

Ignore them.
Refuse to be pulled back.
And set yourself free from that crab bucket once and for all.

 

Because only you can do that.

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale

 

P.S. No frogs, dogs or crabs were harmed in the writing of this Monday Motivation Message!

 

P.P.S Please don’t try to boil a frog

 

“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: A reminder about stress and the power of thoughts.

 

“What do you do in the shower every morning?”

 

So I guess you had a shower this morning?

 

You know…

 

We can learn lots from our morning shower.

 

Operating a shower is one of those subconscious habits that you have learned. Just like driving a car or making a cup of coffee, you don’t have to think hard to achieve it.

 

You just do it.

 

And that frees up your conscious mind to think about other things. And those thoughts you have are crucial to your health, success and motivation each day.

 

So when you get in the shower, do you CHOOSE to think about positive or negative things? (because you are not your thoughts, so you can choose them).

 

Are you mindful of the fresh smell of the new shower gel you bought?
Do you focus on the wonderful day on the beach you had last month with your family, feeling the gentle breeze on your skin and smelling the fresh smell of the salt water?

 

Or do you decide to increase your own stress levels?

 

That’s right, so much of the stress many people experience is created by their own thoughts.

 

All thoughts are electrical energy. This electrical energy gets converted into chemical energy via hormonal changes in the body.

 

So negative thoughts create stress related hormones, like cortisol. Keep choosing to have them and you will feel more stressed.

 

Most stress is an “inside job”!

 

Imagine that your body is as garden and your mind is the gatekeeper, carefully selecting which thoughts you choose to let into that garden.

 

Are you actively letting in more positive thoughts, allowing your garden to flourish and the flowers to grow?

 

Or do you let those unnecessary negative thoughts slip through the gates, growing as weeds in your garden and killing the flowers?

 

Makes sense to take more care of your garden.

 

What do you think?

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!

What you will get: An understanding of the dangerous victim trap.

 

 

“Don’t catch Victimitis”

 

It’s everywhere. And it’s spreading fast.

 

Do you know someone who’s got it?

 

What am I talking about?

 

The horrible disease of “Victimitis.” The contagious habit of blaming others and acting like a Victim.

 

Here’s some common symptoms I’ve heard recently:

 

“It’s the marketing team’s fault”
“I get so annoyed every time my boss does that”
“It’s just not fair how some people get all the luck”
“It’s just the way it is”
“I blame the government”
“The world’s in a terrible state”
“Things aren’t as they used to be”
“I’ll never be good enough”
“I wish I had more money”
“I never have enough time”

 

Any of those sound familiar?

 

You see…

 

Victimitis is a disease, and like most diseases it can be cured.

 

How?

 

By developing a sense of personal power and taking charge of your life.

 

I call it “inside out” living – create the world you want in your mind then make it happen as a reality on the outside world.

 

But sadly…

 

Many people live an “outside in” life – passively responding to the negativity of the outside world and then complaining about it.

 

So, if you are unhappy with a boss/colleague/friend/human being/circumstance/situation…

 

What are you doing to change it?

 

For example, if you know people who have an annoying habit of interrupting you, have you taken the time to:

 

• explain that they do it (they may not even be aware)?
• tell them how you feel when they do it?
• tell them the impact this has on you?
• ask them not to?

 

You see, people are not mind readers, so complaining to others won’t change anything (but it will spread a little negativity around)

 

Now don’t get me wrong…

 

I’m not saying it is easy. But it is necessary.

 

Playing the Victimitis “blame game” is a lose-lose situation – nothing changes and you don’t feel any better.

 

And here’s another thing…

 

You can’t change other people.
Not today.
Not tomorrow.
Not ever.

 

So don’t waste your time and energy waiting for that change to happen

 

But you can ALWAYS change the way YOU think, feel and behave in situations. So focus on that, and create the world you want.

 

Give it a try – it really is that simple!

 

Your success partner

 

 

 

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Want more time, less stress and better results?

 

The Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership is here to help you  – Steve Neale’s BRAND NEW online leadership programme.  Click here to watch an exciting new video all about the LPS!