Category: Articles

What’s it about?:A reminder about the importance of values

 

They are everywhere.

 

And they potentially have a huge impact on your life.

 

And what’s more…

 

They come in many different forms.

 

I am talking about VALUES.

 

Personal Values
Family Values
Cultural Values
Organisational Values
Team Values
Country Values

 

Like I said, they can influence so many different areas of your life.

 

For example, I recently discovered that the nationally defined values of Great Britain are:

 

Democracy
The rule of law
Individual liberty
Mutual respect
Tolerance of different faiths and beliefs.

 

And all schools in Britain are expected to promote and demonstrate these values.

 

But if I was at school, in India, the 5 core values the school should promote are:

 

Peace
Truth
Love
Non-violence
Righteous conduct

 

So which set of values appeals most to you?

 

And what about your own country?
Are you aware of the core values that your country promotes and stands for?
And how are they lived each day?

 

And then of course…

 

There’s personal values.
When I ask people if personal values are important, almost everyone I ask says they are of vital importance to their life.

 

And then, when I say, “Great, so what are your top 5 personal values?”, guess what normally happens?

 

People often go quiet and often struggle to put words on those values.

 

So what about you?
Do you know what your top 5 values are and how you use these values on a daily basis?

 

Do they provide you with a life compass to help guide you in your key decisions and when choosing the direction you want to take?

 

Not to mention…

 

Company Values.

 

Yes, most companies have a set of values, right?
And many companies are good at promoting them on their website or on a nice gold-framed plaque on the wall of their reception.

 

But how many companies actually embed their values at a core level?

 

How many companies use their values in decision making and other day to day activities?

 

So whilst most people agree that values can influence so many aspects of their lives, they will only do that if those values are translated into observable behaviours.

 

Behaviours rooted in those core values.
For example, which core values to you think these people believe in?

 

Nelson Mandela?
The Dalai Lama?
Ghandi?
Donald Trump?

 

And what evidence do you base your assumptions on?
What is it about their behaviours that suggests a certain value may be at the core of that behaviour?

 

And here’s another question…

 

Do your values change?

 

My own personal belief is that your core values are formed by the time you are a teenager. After that, they may change in priority depending on your life circumstances, but you won’t start creating new values.

 

What do you think?

 

I’m off to remember the vital role values play in all aspects of my life and life around me and strive to b have in a way constant with my values.

 

How about you?

 

To your fulfilment.

 

Steve

 

 

Click here for more about my Award Winning Limbic Performance System Online Programme:
http://stevenealeinternational.com/kajabi/

 

Version 3.0 is out soon!

 

 

Steve Neale
“Creator of the Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership.

What’s it about?: Mindful Moments

 

How often do you get out of your head?

 

And no…

 

I’m not talking about alcohol or drug fuelled oblivion!

 

I’m talking about being mindful.
Allowing yourself to really notice, in a curious, non-judgemental way, how you are feeling.
Tuning in to your body.

 

You see…

 

Most people spend way too much time in their heads.

 

Ruminating.
Planning.
Worrying about what has happened.
Worrying about what will happen.

 

And all this thinking about what was or what might be wastes a lot of your energy.

 

And what’s more…

 

In the long term it can cause…

 

Stress.
Lack of sleep.
A simple loss of the ability to “just be” and embrace the joy of the moment.

 

So what’s the answer to all this over-thinking?

 

Being more mindful.
Introducing more and more “Mindful Moments” into your busy, busy, busy day.

 

For example…

 

Take a moment now to just notice where you are and how you are feeling.
If you are sitting, become aware of where your body connects with the chair.
And notice your feet.
Become aware of how they connect with the floor.
How do they feel in this moment?

 

And if it’s safe to do so, try closing your eyes and tuning in to any physical sensations in your body.
Slowly working your way down your body – slowly directing your awareness to your face, neck, shoulders, arms, chest, abdomen, hips, thighs, knees, shins, ankles, and feet.

 

Congratulations!

 

You just spent a mindful moment with yourself.

 

And the good news?

 

Whilst you are tuning in to the physical sensations in your body, you can’t think at the same time.

 

So you automatically switch off your superfast thinking brain when you focus on a certain part of your body and how it is feeling.

 

One great way…

 

Of remembering these mindful moments is by thinking about a freshly brewed cafetiere of coffee.

 

All the coffee is at the top to begin with (like the thoughts in your head).

 

But as you slowly push down the plunger, the coffee moves down the container until eventually, is is all focused in one area at the bottom.

 

Your attention and focus can be the same – slowly moving it away from your head as you slowly scan your body and finish with all your attention on your feet.

 

Grounded on the floor.
Connected and safe.

 

In fact…

 

Studies have shown that taking regular Mindful Moments can be as beneficial as sitting and meditating for longer periods.

 

So why not start being more mindful today?

 

Developing the habit of taking just one mindful minute every hour to move your focus away from your busy thinking and into your body.

 

Finishing with noticing your feet – firmly grounded on the floor.

 

I’m off to be make sure Mindful Moments are a regular part of my daily habits.

 

How about you?

 

To your fulfilment.

 

Steve

 

 

Click here for more about my Award Winning Limbic Performance System Online Programme:
http://stevenealeinternational.com/kajabi/

 

Version 3.0 is out soon!

 

 

Steve Neale
“Creator of the Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership.

What’s it about?: A world full of fear-based manipulation and lies

 

Just imagine a world…

 

Where fictional stories were spread to create hatred, division, fear and aggression.

 

And these stories, which are never based on evidence or fact, are believed by millions of people.

 

And what’s more…

 

In order to make sure these stories become embedded in people’s mind, a world of biased media is used to spread the stories.

 

And how can you make sure people keep listening to the stories?

 

By making sure they trigger the most powerful emotion humans can experience.

 

FEAR.

 

You see, the people who spread these stories know that if you can create enough fear in the world, then people will listen.

 

And people who are afraid of something will look to someone or something to help reassure them.

 

So it’s funny isn’t it how if the creators of the fictional stories that generate the fear usually offer a solution to the problems they lie about in the stories.

 

And people will follow these story generators.

 

So what could these stories be about?

 

Lies like…

 

White people are more intelligent than other races.

 

Men make better leaders than women.

 

Boys should not show emotion – that is something only for girls.

 

Animals don’t feel pain.

 

Our religion tells the truth and all the other religions are wrong.

 

People who speak with a certain accent will never be suitable for high profile jobs.

 

There is no such thing as global warming.

 

And the truth is…

 

These lies have absolutely no scientific, biological or factual foundation.

 

They are simply lies.

 

And these lies that are told and retold through the stories of fear-based media are believed by many.

 

To the extent that these believers are even capable of killing other people based on the lies they have heard.

 

Can you stop and imagine a world as crazy and hateful as this!

 

I’m off to be careful about which stories I follow and believe to be true.

 

How about you?

 

To your fulfilment.

 

Steve

 

 

Click here for more about my Award Winning Limbic Performance System Online Programme:
http://stevenealeinternational.com/kajabi/

 

Version 3.0 is out soon!

 

 

Steve Neale
“Creator of the Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership.

What’s it about?:Framing and Reframing

 

It’s just as important as the picture!

 

But often overlooked.

 

You see…

 

Even the best of pictures can look dull, if they don’t have the right frame.

 

So the way you frame things is just as important as what you put inside the frame.

 

And the use of framing is everywhere.

 

In politics.
In board meetings.
In presentations.
In conversations.
In negotiations.
In dinner time chats with your partner.

 

In fact, whether you are aware of it or not, framing takes place in just about every communication situation.

 

 

For example…

 

Do you frame your meeting by starting with the words…

 

“ We have some serious problems we need to tackle today.” (negative framing)

 

or…

 

“We have some opportunities to explore to see how we can make improvements today.” (positive framing)

 

You see…

 

Your subconscious mind holds patterns of beliefs and memories in the form of neuronal pathways. And the key words in a framing statement trigger certain pathways.

 

So in the first statement, the words “problems” and “tackle” will trigger negative belief pathways in the brain.

 

And in the second statement, the key words of “opportunities,” “explore” and “improvements” will trigger a whole different set of positive beliefs and associations.

 

So the way you frame things really is important.

 

And let’s not forget about the power of “reframing”

 

And what is that?

 

It’s your opportunity to take a negative frame you heard someone else declare, and reframe it with a more constructive, positive frame.

 

For example, your friend says to you…

 

“I’ve never been so stressed – it’s making my life a misery.”

 

And you reframe with…

 

“It sounds like you have some challenges you would benefit from overcoming right now?”

 

Can you feel the difference?

 

Or your colleague at work says to you…

 

“It’s just hopeless. He never listens.”

 

And your reframe?

 

“So things seem somewhat challenging because it feels like he doesn’t always listen?”

 

In fact…

 

When you get it right, reframing is one of the most powerful techniques I know for helping people see things from a whole new perspective.

 

And by the way…

 

How have you framed your day son far today?
Because as you now know, without the right frame, the picture will never look great.

 

I’m off to be careful about how I frame the world around me and, if possible, help others by respectfully reframing their words.

 

How about you?

 

To your fulfilment.

 

Steve

 

 

Click here for more about my Award Winning Limbic Performance System Online Programme:
http://stevenealeinternational.com/kajabi/

 

Version 3.0 is out soon!

 

 

Steve Neale
“Creator of the Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership.

What’s it about?:The power of stories.

 

Something so powerful…

 

It creates.
It destroys.
It saves lives.
It kills.

 

And what’s more…

 

It’s unique to just one species on this planet.

 

The Homo Sapien.
(that’s you and me by the way).

 

And the unique gift (or dangerous weapon) us Homo Sapien’s have?

 

The ability to use our imaginations to create ideas and stories.

 

You see…

 

Right from the earliest records of how Homo Sapiens became top of the food chain, the key thing that enabled us to do that was cognitive ability and storytelling. Stories that created organised followship.

 

Until the power of stories was around, evidence shows us that our ancestors formed small tribes of up to 150 people and survived day to day in small communities. (that’s why some companies still try to keep department sizes under 150).

 

But then stories came along.

 

And many people believed those stories and became followers.

 

Stories based on fiction.
Stories based on lies.
Stories that deceive.

 

And small tribes became very large tribes.
Tribes with the ability to conquer and overpower smaller tribes.

 

That’s why…

 

Millions of people follow a certain religion and believe it to be the only truthful religion.

 

Millions of devotees will believe the stories of a politician and follow him into mindless war and destruction.

 

Millions of people buy into a certain brand because of the marketing stories we are told.

 

And remember…

 

These stories are not facts.

 

They are fictional stories. (have you checked out the latest Fake News channel today)

 

And yet…

 

The same imagination that Homo Sapiens use to create so much deception and destruction, has also been used to invent every object, tool, aid and gadget that surrounds you in the modern world.

 

So you and I have a choice…

 

We can use our imaginations to better the world we live in.
To create things that help others and the planet we share.

 

Or we can use our imaginations to create fictional lies and deceive people.
To manipulate and take advantage of others.

 

Think about it…

 

What are the stories you are told each day that you believe and follow?

 

And what are the stories you have created about yourself, based on beliefs and not facts.

 

Stories like…

 

This is the best car on the market.
This will be good for your health.
This is what’s best for the people of this country.
I can’t do that as I’m not talented enough.
I have to put up with this job as I have no choice.
It’s better to have an awful partner than no partner at all.

 

So, what’s your story?

 

And which stories will, you choose to follow today?

 

I’m off to be very selective about the stories I create and the stories I follow.

 

How about you?

 

To your fulfilment.

 

Steve

 

 

Click here for more about my Award Winning Limbic Performance System Online Programme:
http://stevenealeinternational.com/kajabi/

 

Version 3.0 is out soon!

 

 

Steve Neale
“Creator of the Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership.

What’s it about?:Realistic, purposeful goals

 

New Year

 

New ideas.
New goals.
New targets.
New plans.

 

And so many self-help experts telling you that “you can make this your best year yet.”

 

How about something different?

 

How about an alternative approach to achieving your goals in 2018?

 

First of all…

 

Give up on the idea of “making this your best year yet.”

 

Can you feel the pressure easing off already?

 

How about making this “another good, mindful and meaningful year grounded in your core values” or something similar?

 

And then…

 

Take a long hard look at the actual goals you are setting.

 

Are they the right goals?

 

In my online leadership programme, I have dedicated 3 entire modules to a an area I call MotivAction.

 

And my definition of MotivAction?

 

“The degree to which you achieve your purposeful goals.”

 

You see…

 

Far too often, people set goals, but the goals were lacking meaning and purpose.

 

They were’t grounded in the right foundations.

 

So a key question to consider when setting your goals in 2018 is “Is the goal a purposeful goal?”

 

Achieving goals with a purpose that is closely connected to to your core values and beliefs will be engaging, fulfilling and fun.

 

Achieving goals which are not aligned to those things that are most important to you in your life will waste your time and energy.

 

They will be meaningless.

 

So, always consider and remember the “motives” behind your “actions” (MotivAction)

 

Ask yourself…

 

When I achieve this what will it give me?
What will it give others?
How much does it excite me?
Why does it excite me?
Which off my core values are being fulfilled?
Which of my beliefs are being followed?
What are the losses if I don’t do it?
How much do I care?

 

And you may just find that 2018 becomes a good year.
A purposeful year.
A year with meaning.

 

I’m off to set myself realistic expectations and achieve all of my purposeful goals for 2018 and stop wasting time on those goals that are meaningless.

 

How about you?

 

To your fulfilment.

 

Steve

 

 

Click here for more about my Award Winning Limbic Performance System online programme:
http://stevenealeinternational.com/kajabi/

 

Version 3.0 is out soon!

 

 

Steve Neale
“Creator of the Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership.

What’s it about?:Having too much of something that everybody wants

 

Apparently, it’s something that everybody wants…

 

And self-help authors and trainers have made lots of money from selling ideas on how you can develop it.

 

But is it an overrated concept?

 

I am talking about Self Confidence.

 

You see…

 

I prefer to talk about Realistic Confidence.

 

If you and I simply focus on a linear Confidence Scale, then more is not always better.

 

Too much Confidence leads to over confidence.
Boasting.
Unrealistic claims.
The “I can do anything” approach, when clearly this is not the case.
The job interviewee who never meets the expectations he portrayed.
An inflated ego.

 

But then of course…

 

The other end of the Confidence Scale is not a good place to be either.
Under Confidence.
An “I can’t” attitude.
Underestimating your true abilities and talent.

 

So how do you get the Confidence Balance right?
How do you get Realistic Self Confidence.

 

Well, as I see it…

 

Realistic and healthy confidence needs to be first grounded in healthy Self Belief.

 

And how do you get that?

 

By learning to respect and like yourself for who you are, irrespective of what you do or achieve.

 

It’s strange, isn’t it…

 

How schools (and often parents ) tend to praise children for what they achieve. But rarely are kids praised for who they are.

 

You see…

 

Confidence is about what you do.
Self Belief is about who you believe you are and how much you accept yourself.
Without condition.

 

And if you create…

 

A dependency purely on what you do, you are likely to develop a Conditional Self Belief.

 

I am ok AS LONG AS…

 

I have a big car.
I do better than others.
I am perfect.
I wear designer clothes
I always come first.
I help others
I have an amazing tanned body.
I am intelligent.

 

And of course…

 

You may argue, that many of the above are healthy qualities.

 

But not if you NEED them in order to accept and like yourself.

 

How about…

 

I am ok, because I am me.
I am ok, because I am enough.

 

An unconditional respect for yourself and who you believe you are.
Healthy Self Belief.

 

Which automatically leads to Realistic Self Confidence…

 

“I know I am good at tennis and that’s great, but more importantly I respect myself as a person.”

 

I know I’m not good at presentations and that’s fine, because I still respect who I am. And if I want to I can learn to become a good presenter. But my emotional health does not depend on it.”

 

I’m off to be realistically confident about my abilities, and always remember who I am is more important than what I do.

 

How about you?

 

To your fulfilment.

 

Steve

 

 

Steve Neale
“Creator of the Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership.

 

www.stevenealeinternational.com

What’s it about?:Getting out of your head

 

Trapped.

 

Spending too much time in confinement.
Can’t find a way out.

 

And if you are trapped for too long, it comes at a price.

 

That price could be…

 

Stress.
Poor Health.
Anxiety.
Insomnia.
Irritability.
Tension.
Poor decision making.

 

And where might you be trapped?

 

In a prison?
In a room?
In a car?

 

Hopefully not.

 

In fact, there is one place on this earth you are more likely to be trapped than anywhere else.

 

In your own head.

 

You see…

 

Increasingly busy people around the developed world are becoming trapped inside their own heads.

 

Can’t switch off.
Thinking about what could have been or what has to be.
Missing the moment and joy of now.

 

And that’s really sad.

 

Especially when science clearly shows us that your mid and body are all part of one system.

 

Your mind influences the health of your body.

 

Your body influences the health of your mind.

 

And if you’re trapped in your head, when do you take the time to stop and get into your body?

 

To listen to what it needs.
To nourish your intuition.
To build up a wealth of good emotions (all emotions are felt and stored in the cells of your body)

 

Think about it…

 

Do you ever get back pains after a day of worry?
Do you ever develop headaches after all day meetings with aggressive colleagues?
Do you ever get that cold or flu just 2 days into your holiday after a stressful few months at work?

 

Thing is…

 

Your body can’t communicate in words.
Or intellect.
Or concepts.

 

So if it’s not happy….
If it’s been neglected because you have spent too much time trapped in your head….

 

It communicates in the only way it can.

 

Pain.
Illness.
Disease.

 

It’s as if your body is trying to say to you…
“Hello. Your are neglecting me. Less focus on the head worrying time and more body time please.
You see, if you respect me and the emotions I store in me, I can help you. I can support the mind to think more clearly. I can help you make the right decisions. I can help you sleep well at night. I can provide you with the foundations you need for a healthy life. But I can’t do that if you are trapped up there in your headspace all the time.”

 

I’m off to remember to get out of my head regularly and respect the direct connection between my mind and body.

 

How about you?

 

To your fulfilment.

 

Steve

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership

 

www.stevenealeinternational.com

What you will get:The link between thoughts and your identity

 

Be careful what you think…

 

Because repeated thoughts become beliefs…

 

And embedded beliefs become habits…

 

And repeated habits become traits…

 

And repeated traits become part of your identity…

 

Part of how you and others see you in this world.

 

And your identity will determine the quality of your life.

 

Let’s look at a couple of examples…

 

The thought: I wonder if my husband (wife) is late because he’s been in an accident.

 

Repeat this thought or similar thoughts regularly, which leads to…

 

The beliefs: It is dangerous driving at night and most drivers are irresponsible and reckless

 

Which forms…

 

The habit: Texting your husband several times and eventually phoning him to make sure he is ok…

 

Which leads to…

 

The trait:I worry a lot when there is no logical reason to worry.

 

Which creates…

 

The identity: I am a “worrier”

 

Confirmed by friends and family who often say to you:

 

“You’ve always been a bit of a worrier.”

 

And there you have it…your destiny and identity as a worrier is set up for life.

 

Congratulations!

 

But wait a minute,

 

Let’s try and run that story again….

 

But what if you choose a different identity?

 

The thought: My parents used to worry a lot about things they could not change. Like the news and the sadness in the world and traffic accidents. It’s so good I have chosen a different path.

 

Forming the belief…

 

My path in life is for me to choose, no one else.

 

And the trait…

 

I always look for the positive opportunities and assume the best is about to happen…

 

And the identity…

 

I am an optimist in life.

 

And friend and family say to you often…

 

“You always been an optimist.”

 

Makes you think, doesn’t it?

 

I’m off to notice my thoughts, form healthy beliefs and traits and create a healthy sense of identity.

 

How about you?

 

To your fulfilment.

 

Steve

 

 

Steve Neale
“Europe’s Leading Expert on Personal and Professional Growth”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership

 

www.stevenealeinternational.com

What you will get:Some reflections on happiness

 

True happiness does not come in a box…

 

Or a parcel.
Or, for that matter, any material thing.

 

Yes, it feels good for a moment to get the new iPhone.
To buy the new shoes.
To order 5 more things you don’t really need online.

 

Problem is…

 

That kind of “dopamine rush” happiness goes as quickly as it comes.

 

It’s a quick fix.
It’s a momentary buzz.
And it’s addictive.

 

Your brain soon learns…

 

…to crave that “fix” again and again.

 

Why wouldn’t it?

 

It’s quick.
It’s easy.
And as soon as it fades away, it leaves a craving for more.

 

More things.
More money.
More addictive dopamine rushes.

 

Now I don’t pretend…

 

…to know all the answers about what is true happiness for you.

 

Only you can figure that one out.

 

But what I can tell you…

 

If you want more serotonin and oxytocin in your body – hormones that produce more lasting and fulfilling feelings of happiness, then research tells us that the following things will work for you…

 

Acts of kindness and altruism – giving to others without expecting anything back.

 

Sharing experiences with those you love and care for.

 

Connecting more closely with your loved ones and reminding them how much you love them.

 

Feeling a sense of purpose and meaning in what you do.

 

Feeling part of a community where you belong and are accepted for who you are.

 

And what’s more…

 

Remembering that happiness should not be something you can work hard to achieve tomorrow.

 

It is something you can achieve today in those mindful moments of sharing and giving.

 

I’m off to reflect on how to get more sustainable feelings of happiness in my life.

 

How about you?

 

To your fulfilment.

 

Steve

 

Steve Neale
“Creator of the Limbic Performance System for Outstanding Leadership”

 

Psychologist, Executive Coach, EI Practitioner, Award Winning Trainer, International Author, Psychodynamic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Instructor, International Speaker, Creator of the LPS, Creator of the Accredited Masters in High Performance Leadership

 

www.stevenealeinternational.com